The End of a Chapter In My Life

Today, I'm going to delve a little away from the typical format of my blog and make today's post very personal. It's like "Let's Be Oprah" time.

My boyfriend/Fiancé of 3 years, broke up with me yesterday.
There were complications happening in the background, of course. The problem was the reasoning behind it. His irresponsibility held him back further in legal litigation in the state of MD, causing him to not be able to leave the state any time soon.

I, however, am living in Florida. He helped move me here and knew he was coming back as well, but it would be a little while because of his legal situation. His stuff is here... and I thought somehow that meant it was set in stone that he would be coming back...

Last year, on our second anniversary, we went to Disney World for his first time since he was 6 years old. I proposed to him in front of the castle during the fireworks on the bridge to tomorrow land just as the blue fairy "appeared" during the light show.

Everything was perfect. He said yes. We held hands and made the ultimate promise that no matter what happens, we will never give up on the other. We're in this through thick and thin...

But a lot seems to change in 10 months.... He told me he "couldn't do the long distance anymore... he couldn't own up to his own mistakes" and "he had to stop taking advantage of me and take responsibility."

Now, the perfect proposal I had been planning my whole life... can't be used again. It just... Wouldn't be right.

So... his misguided nature is what drew me to him? And yet, it's desire to be repaired and no longer be misguided, was the very thing that was our undoing.

Within

Two sides pull apart
The seams that bind my scorned heart
And I'm left to bear witness
To the torment they tear amidst
The fact that I even care at all
Whether I rise or I fall...

Road of Recovery

- Posted using BlogPress on iPhone 4S. The Dark GaGa Knight